Monday, January 30

Too much mayonnaise?!?!?!?!

So it was a normal start to a normal day, i got up at 10:30 after having been out a club the night before, but with nobody home, and no internet, decided to go back to sleep. I got up again when liepa got home and we made hamburgers for lunch. Everything was still seeming very normal. I made my hamburger with cheese, lettuse, tomato, a little ketchup, and lots of mayonnaise, so everything still seemed pretty normal. There was 1 hamburger left over, and when dinner rolled around, i decided to eat it. That's when the abnormality struck. I didn't really want to eat any more mayonnaise. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the feeling, having never had it before. At first i thought maybe i should go to the hospital to find out if there was something serious wrong with, but then remembered that i'm lithuania, and thought better of it. Ultimately i came to the conclusion that i didn't have any choice but listen to reason. I would silence the little voice inside of me that said no more mayonnaise, listen to my brain, and eat the hamburger with mayo anyway. Results were inconclusive, the hamburger was not as fulfilling as the one i had eaten for lunch, but that might also be attributed to the fact that there was no more lettuce or tomato left.

Saturday, January 21

UN- Undertaking Nothing

Yeah, so i've never been a big fan of the UN, but this is so morally repugnant, I can't believe that God doesn't smite them with a lighting bolt, or rain sulfur down upon them, or some plagues, or something.

If the link doesn't work, the article i read was in the NY times

So this woman in pakistan was sentenced to gang rape, for something that her brother supposedly did. Now she was going to give a speech at the UN, organized some time ago,and they won't even let her talk, just because pakistan's prime minister shows up out of the blue. I guess that shows what the UN stands for. Doing nothing. Not only doing nothing, but stopping other people from doing something. We believe in women's rights, and human rights, etc. Unless someone might hear us and be offended, then we believe in keeping our mouths shut and making everyone happy. If anything, the UN should duct tape pakistan's prime minister to a chair and force him to listen to her because he needs to hear her speech more than any of the other people who were hoping to see it.

Friday, January 20

Frozen feces

So it was 27 below 0 yesterday, or 18 below for all you funkilicious people living in the states. Anyway, it was so cold that as i was walking down the street, i diareahed into my pants, and it froze before it hit my underwear. So then i was walking around with feces frozen to my hole. I wanted more to come out, but it couldn't because it was totally blocked.

Okay so that didn't really happen, but i did really mention to liepa as we were walking down the street that it would be funny if that happened. She didn't seem quite as amused by the concept as i was. Liepa claimed that she froze her eyeballs, and we walked into a store or shop after every 10 minutes to make sure we didn't accidentally die (or freeze feces to ourselves.)
Okay so first off i thought i would repost koavs' comment, incase people didn't go back far enough to read it.

its kovas again in the guise of vytenis. a lot of shit has happened concerning the existence of a Neringa LJS. I should make a post concerning our new role. After much finagling, it has been decided that neringa cant be an LJS but those invovled now make up the newly created Studentu Reikalu Taryba or Student Affairs Council in the excutive branch of the LJS structure. So, if we can afford it, astovai will be at Kongressas. Personally, Im leaning towards going to just the stovykla cause 1,675 Canuck funny money or 1,430 USD is a bit too rich for my blood for the entirety of kongressas.

As for me, if i have any free time this summer, i will probably spend it in vermont, i don't expect to be able to make it to Canada at all.

Wednesday, January 18

Where did all this freaken feces come from?

So i was watching the 6th season the simpsons, which i got for christmas, and the commentaries. recall if you will the episode where they go to Australia, and bart releases the bull frog, which then basically takes over the country because it has not natural predators. Apparently this is based on a true story, which is when they imported cows to Australia. They didn't take into account that cows shit...a lot. There was no natural way to deal with all the shit, so it just started piling up. Eventually they imported millions of dung beatles to deal with the problem. Either that or else the simpsons writers were yanking my chain which is entirely possible, but i prefer this version of the story so i'm not going to question whether or not it really happened, i'll just keep laughing in my ignorance. Also it reminded me of the only funny moment of dumb and dumberer, when the father starts yelling, "theres shit everywhere." and goes beserk after somebody smeared melted chocolate all over the bathroom.

Sunday, January 15

Loky, what were you doing up at 4:39am?!

So saturday night, Lithuania, no job, no homework, what was i doing up? That's right i spent the whole night reading people's blogs. Not much i can repost here, but i did make one comment about the weight problem in America that i felt was worth reposting.

So in case people don't know, in Lithuania you can get ground beef with various other meats mixed in, like for example lard/bacon. Ground beef with 30% lard mixed in. So while in america people are getting extra lean ground beef in Lietuva, they specifically add a third fat. While people in the states are going on low carb diets in Lietuva people eat potatoes by the bushel. All these crazy diet fads are just that, crazy. Although my dad lost a lot of weight with the no-crab diet, i think by looking at the lithuanian example, it's quite clear that people can remain thin while still eating plenty of carbs. The key is just eating less in general. When you go to a restaurant in the states they purposely give you more food than you could possibly want. If a family of 6 goes out to a meal at chile's or tgif or the olive garden, at least 3 of them are not finishing their food. If you go to a restaurant in vilnius you won't have trouble finishing your food, you won't feel like you overate afterwards. Other possible keys are: the consumption of sugar, i think people here probably eat less sugar, the consumption of preservatives, definitely less preservatives, and just generally more walking around, burning calories. Monty, who is already thin, said he lost 5 pounds while he was here for a month, can't just be a coincidence.

Friday, January 13


So i went out to a club tonight (broadway) and met a bunch of britishers who are here for a a weekend long bachelor party. At first i figured the groom was marrying a lithuanain girl, but no, he's marrying an irish girl they just all decided to come to lietuva to party before the marriage. How they picked lietuva i didn't get a real answer, but anyway they were totally cool, by which i mean they bought me beer, and beyond that that they were also very drunk and friendly, hopefully things went well for them, but i lost track after i wenting hunting myself.

Tuesday, January 10

Ziemos Stovykla 05'

Labas Labas, Zydams Shabbas,

I would like to reintroduce myself. I AM NOT VYTENIS. I AM KOVAS. As an avid viewer of kaipsuprast, I have noticed a drop in posts and would like to reverse this turn of events. I was mainly prompted to post due to Lokio post concerning the lack of Post-Ziemos chatter.

Ziemos: Dec 27th-Jan 1st
So the night before the official start of stovykla, Gintas, Darius, Aistis, and I went to go see Matisyahu in killington. I thought it would be a good time and a good way to start stovykla so i invited all those who were of age, considering it was an 18 and over show, yet only the intrepid 4 drove up to see Matisyahu. For those unaquatainted, Matisyahu is a Hassidic Jew who drops mad fat rhyms mixed with reggea and beatboxes with the skill and grace that one would not easily associate with a skinny hassidic jew from brooklyn. Needless to say we had a great time although, Gintas drove with the window open(mind you it was around 2 am in Killington Vermont in December) the entire time. We returned to Neringa where Simas, Jenn, Amber, Julius, and Lindsey spent their idle time watching aiscio copious dvds. Naturally, when we arrived, we all got piss drunk.

The week was was sprinkled with activities that were an easy and relaxing compliment to hanging out in the sale. Some activities included having a workshop on "stewardship in neringa" with Vida, discussing our current status in the LJS structure and our future goals and projects, skiing/snowboard (of which i partook but found the mountain to have piss poor conditions), and watching a dvd from lietuva entitled "nacionaliniai pirslybu ypatumai" which was hilarious and surprisingly catchy. The dvd had musical performances mocking hopeful suitors from different parts of the world. For example rusai were lampooned as being alcoholics in such lyrics as "skani degtine pavasari, kai musu zeme ?abvare?, ir greitai visos panios grazios bus". The suitors competing for the lietuvates hand in marriage included arabs, cigonai, pacific islanders, scots, suomai, rusai, zydai, eskimos, greeks, germans, and lietuvai. Although, it did strike me as odd that representing lietuviai was marijonas mikutavicius and he sang "ai, tie geijiai". Anyhoot, the movie was amazing and we also watched 40 yearold virgin with my mom, p. jonas b., his girlfriend, and p. jonas kunca. Tai buvo idomu.

Other activities included making krupnikas. As the krupnikas was simmering, Gintas told me to smell it for it was smelling like zaftigly legit krupnikas. i stuck my face in the big pot and burned my sinuses from the gallon of heated everclear mixed into it. Gaja called me a drama queen but changed her tune quickly when she took a good whiff of it and when my nose started to bleed profusely. The krupnikas was mightly tasty when it was finished. We also had our traditional bowling trip and scavenger hunt which was very interesting and different from last ziemos. One question was "why didnt native americans inhabit brattleboro? hint: talk to lucy at the record store", "answer: because native americans thought that the way the wind blew in brattleboro would make anyone that settled there go insane". Unfortunatly, we didnt have time to perform at the moles eye cafe open mic due to lack of practice time and the fact that only Darius, Jonas, and I were going to perform for 20 minutes.

Thats it for now, Ill put a follow up post with other additions more befitting entry in the Neringa Tome of Ribaldry.


Monday, January 9


So monty has been in lietuva for the past month or so, and we managed to get together a few times, the last time being tonight. we were hoping darius muzikantas would also make it out to meet us tonight, but he couldn't make it, so oh well. three main things worth mentioning

first we ordered black bread with garlic, and they brought out actual pieces of garlic to rub on the bread, so monty and i prepared bread for each other putting on as much garlic as possible. there was more garlic than necassary, but while monty seemed to be pained by eating his piece, i didn't mind, i still thought it was delicious.

second, for some reason, i threatened to put garlic in monty's beer, to which he replied he wouldn't care, so i did put a clove in his beer. he responded by putting 5 cloves in my beer, which i didn't mind. I actually thought it tasted better if anything, and it got rid of all the foam. i recommend everyone try it, cause it certainly doesn't hurt the beer, and probably doesn't harm the garlic either.

finally monty kept ripping me for not wanting to chug beer, so we chugged half a beer each and jokingly i told him that i finished before him, so the next round he wanted to to chug a whole beer each, thinking then he would show me what's up or something. anyway me and karolis, a lithuanian guy, both chugged out beers to the bottom, but monty and liepa both had to put their beers down half way through.

the moral of the story is beer is delicious, well not really, but it
's drinkable. also the good news is, for the first time monty managed to meet up with me, and not get so drunk that he lost his wallet. every other time he met up with me, he lost his wallet at some point during the night, but also always managed to find it again. tonight his wallet remained intact in his sweatshirt all night.

Friday, January 6


hey does anyone out there in blogger land remember any good SNES games. I started playing the 7th saga, and mario rpg which were both good games again, but i couldn't think of any other games i should play. Also if anyone hasn't played the 7th saga yet, you totally should, cause it's awesome. It does take a little while to play, there's a timer on it, so you can track how many hours you've played.

The worst is when you and your companion both get petrified, and then your sitting there and your like whoa what the hell am i supposed to do now, play with myself inside this rock, cause i can't do anything else. Lux probably wouldn't play with himself anyway cause he is a machine. i wonder if computers and other machines have a way to pleasure themselves, that would suck for them if they didn't.

Thursday, January 5

Winter neringa, the 4rth entry in my idle chatter trilogy.

also how come i haven't heard anything about winter neringa? what's the deal, was it so crummy that nobody wants to talk about it? or was it so awesome that everyone is still hung over? i demand reports, and pictures would also be welcomed. Did anyone built a giant snow penis surround be a snow man, and then pose in various sexual positions with it? Did people shotgun beers in the rusys? did bridger run around in the snow barefoot? and then get in a snowball fight, with everyone chucking snow balls at him? did anyone bring a minny keg? did simas drink an entire box of wine by himself? man it's crazy the things you can think up when all you have is your imagination, or in this case memories of the past.

Comb over

So i got a hair cut today, drastically cutting back the hair on the top of my head. and by drastically, i mean marginally. but i figure i can make up for cutting some of the hair off the top my head, by growing out my beard again. thoughts feelings? does that seem to make sense, or maybe i should accompany my haircut by hair style changes on other parts of my body. maybe i should have kept the hair they cut of my head, and super glued it to me feet, i bet girls would dig that. super hairy feet. i wonder if i would have to shampoo my feet if i did that, can anyone with super hairy feet enlighten me about whether or not you have to shampoo them? Also i think at neringa this summer we should all show up with super long beards. like we should all grow them out for 3 months, unless people have to look nice for work or something, but otherwise long beards all the way around, and then we'll get drunk and shave various obscene things into our faces.


more idle chatter
so a couple of days ago we went to riga, me liepa and my american friend. not much worthwhile. the most noteworthy thing was how freaken expensive everything was. They trick you into thinking it's not much because 1 latvian lat is equivalent to 5 lits. so you but lunch and leave thinking it was only 2 lats, but then you realize it was 10 lits. and then you think man, penis, that food was totally non delicious and i just paid 10 lits for it. i could have gotten some potato pancakes with meat and spriguciai on top at chile kaimas for less than that. man i need to start eating at chile kaimas more, cause it's totally awesome.

also you know what i don't recommend getting on a bus from riga at 10:30 at night and getting back at 5 in the morning. clearly the right thing to do what have been to stay in riga and drink until 3, and take a bus back at 3 that would have gotten in at 7, but liepa and dave didn't want to stay and drink until 3, and i didn't argue cause i wasn't sure/am still not sure if i'm in lithuania legally, so i thought maybe it owuldn't be the ebst thing to get super drunk before going through customs. anyway, i successfully snuck back into the country, and i'm not sure where that leaves me now, but hopefully that means i'm allowed to be here for another 3 months

Idle chatter

Yeah so time to start up more idle chatter on this blog, cause that's totally the way to be. especially now that i don't have any more classes until feb.

Idle chatter point 1, new years eve. so this was my first new years eve in LT. First we went to aido kuolo place. By we i mean me, liepa, aras, sirvydas, monty, and an american friend of mine who was visiting. Dave(american) doesn't drink but we got him to drink for the first time that night. not much 4 half shots of krup, and 1 beer, but i bet he was feeling a little something. we started drinking with the plan being to go to the katedras for midnight, and then a club afterwards. Of course what happened instead was we got drunk and lost track of time, then when we tried to leave someone got belligerent and didn't want to leave, with the result that we didn't get to the katedras until close to 12:30. just in time to see all the trash and broken bottles as people were leaving.

Then we went to a club called new orleans, i guess so we could still feel a little american, plus cause it was only 25 lits to get in, which was much less than we thought we were going to have to pay to get in. new orleans was okay, but i don't think we stayed very long, i kind of lost track of time. monty bought what appeared to be 12 shots that we all took, but by the taste i'm willing to bet they were less than 25% alcohol, some sort of mixed drinks in shot glasses, not actual shots. Before we managed to leave monty started falling asleep at the table, and security wanted to kick him out. we got them to let him stay, and he paid them back by throwing up all over the place. go monty, if you're not throwing up, that means you're not trying hard enough.(for all you underage people out there, this is intended as a joke, i do not endorse excessive drinking.) for everyone else whoooooo. maybe monty didn't fill the dance floor with vomit, i didn't see him throw up, but he came out of the club with vomit all down his shirt.

then we took a cab with like 7 people in it back to our place, but the girls who came back with us left after like a half hour. why would someone get into a cab with 7 people and ride a half hour just to leave almost immediately upon reaching your destination? i don't know, but that's what happened. either that, or they in fact stayed much longer and in my addled state it seemed shorter to me.