Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.

So teddy asked me for some thoughts about how the Olympics is going so far. I figured after writing it all out, i might as well stick it up on the off chance anybody still checks this site. Okay so lets see if i can sort through all your questions. One, the make up of the groups. Completely random. They don't assign the groups based on ranking or anything, just random draw. So obviously that sucks. The groups were already set minus the three teams that made it in the qualifying tournament (LT, Russia, and Nigeria,) Russia got drawn into the weaker group, LT and Nigeria into the strong group. Although to be fair Russia is a serious medal contender so it's really Russia and Spain in one group, the US, France, and Argentina in the other group, with a weaker LT, and an upstart Brazil balancing them out, then all the doormats. Great Britain got a team in for just being the hosts, first time that's ever happened. In the past host countries have had an easier road, but there were still some requirements (which Britain would not have met.) Anyway, yes i wish that LT had gotten drawn into the weak group, instead of Russia. I think they would have had a good chance of coming in second in that group, and a reasonable chance (20%) of beating spain and being the 1 seed. The loss against Argentina was tough, but it was also unfortunate scheduling. Argentina is very top heavy, they basically have 5 good players, and crap all over the bench. Plus their 5 good players are old. So it's likely they will wear down as the tournament progresses. It would have been nice to play them in the 4 or 5 game. (And i wouldn't mind facing them again in the semi finals, if we're lucky enough to get there.) Also wish we could have taken on France earlier while Parker was still as rusty as possible. He'll only be getting better as the games go on. The top 4 from each group advance, so baring an unexpected loss to Tunisia LT still moves on to the quarter finals (even with a loss they would probably move on based off of tie breakers, although i'm not positive what all the tie breakers are.) A win against France would make it very interesting as LT, France, and Argentina would all likely end up with 3-2 records, creating a 3 way tie. But i think because of LT's huge loss to argentina they would probably lose the tie breaker anyway (although once again not positive about tie breakers, i couldn't find a good explanation.) And a win is not completely unlikely, LT was up against france last summer at Eurobasket and collapsed at the end to lose by 6 in a game they should have won. Not saying they should be favored, but it wouldn't be a huge upset. The ultimate scenario would be if LT beats France, and then catch the US in a trap game with the US looking ahead to Argentina. LT would probably have to shoot like 60 percent from 3s and jump out to at least a 20 point first half lead to hold off the US which would certainly win the second half by a wide margin. Obviously it's not very likely, but neither was an unknown 15 year old lithuanian swimmer winning a gold medal, and that happened (although that required only 1 performance of a lifetime, beating the US even if they play badly would require many of the basketball players having the performance of a lifetime.) In conclusion I strongly expect LT to finish 4 in the group. This means they will probably play the winner of Spain/Russia. LT lost to spain last summer by a dozen, they didn't play russia, but based off of games in common (Both beat slovenia, LT by 3 points, russia by 1 Both lost to france, LT by 6 points Russia by 8) I suspect they are reasonably similarly matched. I think russia has gotten better since last summer, while LT probably worse, but i give us at least a 20% to upset the number 1 seed from group B. The benefit of that would be that we would not have to play the US in the semi finals, which obviously would be preferable. In terms of thoughts on the Lithuanian team in general, i'm very disappointed so far in the play of Valanciunas. Last summer it was clear that he was raw but his potential was also clear and he had some big time performances, including against Spain and the Gasols. This year he seems to have either regressed, or at least lost the confidence of his coaches. He is getting into immediate foul trouble, and then getting an immediate hook from the coaching staff. Offensively he's doing okay, but he's not assertive enough. When the captain of the team went down (their starting center, Javtokas) just before the olympics, i thought it might not actually be bad, finally force Valanciunas into the lime light, but so far it hasn't worked well, and the coaching staff didn't give him nearly enough time today in what was basically a blow out by the 4rth quarter. It really suggests that not only does coaching staff think he is playing poorly, but that they have no confidence in him playing better and therefore are not bothering to waste minutes on him. I don't know if his fault, or the coaching staffs, but it's not good. Linas Kleiza has also been a bit of a disappointment. He really led the team to the bronze medal in the 2010 world championships, looked like he was becoming a dominating european player. Like a Scola. Not somebody who would dominate the NBA, but someone who would have to be reckoned with international play. He was hurt last year, and it seemed like his coming back would be a big boost to the team, but either his play has fallen of significantly, or he hasn't been able to reintegrate himself into a team that played last summer without him. Maybe he just had a once in a career streak at the world championhip, and now is playing as his normal self. The Argentina game was obviously disappointing all around, i was in particular disappointed in the number of threes they attempted (they were 1 for 2 in the first half, and 3 for 6 in the first three quarters.) It's one thing to have a bad shooting night, it's another to not even attempt any threes, especially for an unathletic team like LT, which isn't going to be able to drive to the basket like lebron can. It would be one thing if they were posting up Valanciunas or someone, but it seemed like they were just taking a bunch of contested long 2s the whole game. (Although my feed went out so i missed most of the second half.) There's a tricky set up at point guard, with the old guy, jasikevicius, coming off the bench. It seemed like kalnietis was growing up (jasikevicius didn't play at 2010 i don't think) but i'm not sure either of them is really comfortable with their roles sharing the point guard position, and they have both played pretty weakly, with way too many turnovers, and failing to get the offense into a proper rhythm. Kalnietis is probably looking over his shoulder every time he makes a mistake, and jasikevicius is just too old to be as effective as he once was. Obviously the Nigeria game went much better, and while Nigeria is certainly no powerhouse they aren't completely terrible. They did beat Greece in the qualifying Tournament to get to the Olympics. I don;t think they would beat them again if they had to, but their not quite the doormat that african basketball teams have been for the past 20 years. So while I take that win with a grain of salt, i do take it. In general i would say i have lost some confidence of making it the semi-finals, and my confidence was never that high to start with. But on the other hand, it was just one bad game against argentina. If LT goes out and beats france, it will be basically forgotten (except in the standings and tie breakers where it will still hurt.) I don't think there's any doubt this is the weakest team Lithuania has had since independence, maybe the individual players are okay, but they don't mesh well. There are only 4 players on this team who will be over 32 at the next olympics, and only 3 who will be over 34 (jasikevicius, songaila, and kaukenas.) Most of the core guys will be 30-32 So hopefully they'll still primes and some of the younger guys Valanciunas/Motiejunas/a couple other young guys who didn't make this year's team will have grown up and just be entering their primes. Ideally i see them becoming Lithuania's gasol brother's, only not actually brothers, but obviously both of them have a long way to go before either can come close to that.

Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N., or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

I think a very small segment of people took the UN seriously before, but after this that number should dwindle to zero. Robert Mugabe is no better than hitler or stalin. If he killed fewer people it's only because he never had the chance to kill more. And now the UN asks him to be a tourism ambassador? No worse than having north korea as the leader of the committee against human rights violations i suppose, but just more proof that the UN is just political mumbo jumbo without real morals or purpose.

Hello? Mrs. Pommelhorst? I'd like to get down now!

So there's an update to a previous ridiculous story. So after acting so obviously inappropriately in her classroom, instead of being fired this teacher will be receiving additional training. Classic example of what's wrong with government employment. If someone in the public sector had done something so against their job description they would be fired immediately. The biggest problem isn't even that she wasn't fired, but that now tax payers will be paying even more money for her training. If she is competent enough to keep her job, then she should be smart enough to learn her lesson without needing to go to all this training. The only point of the train is to provide political cover for her keeping her job when it's clear she shouldn't.

The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

It doesn't seem like they can quite get their story straight here. Black firefighters are upset because they aren't passing written exams as often as other races and therefore not getting as many promotions. First they claim that white firemen were given the questions ahead of time, basically claim intentional racist motives. I guess they didn't want to suggest the the black firemen just couldn't pass the test. The article doesn't go on the specify anything about those allegations, presumably there was no evidence of them, or it would have been mentioned. So now the federal government has stepped in alleging that the exams have "resulted in a disparate impact upon black candidates." So the exams are racists not because someone is helping white people pass them, but because black fireman simply can't pass them. Whatever happened to judging a man based on the content of his character and not the color of his skin. Whether or not this exam (or any other exam for that matter, SAT, LSAT, university finals, etc.) is an accurate judge of abilities is an open question, but the exam does not discriminate based on someone's skin color. A world free from racism means a world of equal opportunities, not a world of equal results. Black firemen don't have the right to an equal percentage of promotions just because of their skin color. By that logic i could argue the NBA is the most racist organization in the world. Their rules of play have a disparately negative effect on white players and anyone who claims otherwise is a racist. We simply have to adjust the rules of the game so the strengths of white players are more actively represented and their strengths are less actively demonstrated. That's what the firemen are doing they are claiming because they aren't as good at demonstrating competency under this system the system needs to be changed to reflect their strengths and not their weaknesses. If you want to argue that judging a fireman's competency for promotion by exam is foolish, feel free to make that argument, just don't bring race into it. Race has nothing to do with whether or not an exam is an accurate barometer.

Jimmy Carter?! He's history's greatest monster!

Thanks a lot to the Supreme Court for making it legal for police officers to strip search anybody they arrest without cause. I don't remember all the ridicoulos cases that were brought up where people were strip searched but it ranged from failure to use a turn signal to using a bycicle without a helmet. The man who brought the case was arrested and strip searched for failure to pay a $200, which he had in fact already paid. A clerical error by the town failed to credit him for the payment which he had made. As the article discussed only 1 out 25,000 prisoners are found to have something illicit through the use of strip searches, the purpose of the strip search is not to eliminate contraband, but the establish the power of the police officers. The sole reason for the searches is to prove to those who are arrested that police have complete control over you, to the extent of forcing you to strip naked and spread your butt cheeks for them. One problem with this is that the punishment of going through this humiliation is greater than the punishment for the crime. Therefor before a man is convicted of anything, and still presumed innocent, a punishment is meted out to him that is worse than the punishment should he actually be found guilty, which may be just a 50 dollar fine. I think most Americans would prefer to pay the 50 dollars than have to go through the strip search (it depends a little on how a person makes.) They claim there is no way to draw a line between who should get strip searched an who shouldn't. Of course there's a way, there are plenty of ways. How about if the punishment for a crime warrants a month in prison or more than the offense is considered serious enough that a strip search may be allowed. Or a year, or any number. Or how about if it's a felony. We already break crimes into categories of felonies and misdemeanors, lets continue along that path. And just to be clear this doesn't cover if police have a reasonable suspicion that a suspect might be hiding something, like he's a known drug dealer or something, we are only talking about cases where cops admit they don't have any suspicion that a person has hidden anything, but are going to conduct a strip search anyway. Luckily many states have taken the initiative to outlaw this themselves, and hopefully more will follow.

How could you? Of all the terrible things you've ever done in your life, this is the worst, the most despicable!

But Marge, I swear to you, I never thought you'd find out!

So NBC alters the tape of the 911 call between George Zimmerman to make him look like a racist. There's no other way to look at it, with something as serious as this case and with the importance of race nobody could cut the tape like that by accident. So after NBC gets caught having tried to deceive the public into thinking Zimmerman is a racist they vow and internal investigation and it turns out their investigation revealed, they never thought you'd find out. They thought nobody would bother to point out the race was only important to the 911 dispatcher so they could identify the suspect and not to Zimmerman. Any apology to Zimmerman? No. Anyone fired for this gross violation of journalistic ethics? No. Any consequences for anyone? No.

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!

Not surprising that Obama would accuse Romney of living in the past of Russia, but in fact it is Russia that is living in the past. They have an ex KGB as the despot of their country, they have made alliances with all of the U.S. enemies, like Iran, and they have made repeated assaults against former soviet republicans that they feel should still be in their domain. An actual military assault in Georgia, and an internet assault against Latvia (it might have been Estonia.) It is Biden who shows his ignorance by claim Russia is united with us against Iran (they are not) and his naivity at thinking Russia and Putin see us as anything but enemies. Bush had the same flaw claiming he saw in Putin's soul or some such nonsense and saw someone he could work with. Putin will never work with the US he will use the US for his own purposes whenever possible and undermine the US and all western democracies at every opportunity he gets. What exactly is the difference between the Russian political system now, and the political system during the cold war that anyone should think there has been any change in Russia since 1990 or that their ex KGB leader would have anything but hatred for the West?

Red Tick Beer. Hmm... Bold, refreshing, and something I can't quite put my finger on. -Hmmm needs more dog.

Well this seems like a good waste of time. Someone in Canada is claiming that a restaurant has violated her Human rights by naming a beer the Albino Rhino. Furthermore she complains that in Africa where she was born albinos are often ritually murdered which is why she moved to Canada. Well you live in Canada now you goof get over it. Had anyone in Canada attacked you or mocked you for being Albino? In Canada/the US being albino is no different than being a redhead. I knew an albino kid at northwestern it was no big deal. In Canada there is no shame in being albino, but even if there was, naming a beer the albino rhino wouldn't be a violation of anyone's rights. If you don't like it don't go to that restaurant. Why is it that so many people today feel comfortable trying to force their opinions views and offensive upon everyone else. If one person thinks it's offensive then everyone thinks it's offensive.

You know what really aggravazes me? It's them immigants.

They wants all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain't even bother to learn themselves the language.

Well this makes sense. This guy has been convicted of terrorist related crimes, he is not a british citizen, and yet the british government is spending $10,000,000 a year to let him live in a nice house in britain instead of deporting him. And then the government runs a massive deficit and has to cut spending on education. Only government beaucrats who believe there is an infinite amount of money could possibily believe this is a good idea.

The only thing a loser like me is good for is taking beatings. - There you go! That's the spirit!

I guess to Obama it seems like everyone punches above their weight class. (In this scenario Obama is homer, and everyone else in the world is drederick tatum.) No other commentary, just something that struck me as funny.

What is it with you kids and that word? I'm going to shave you bald, young man, until you learn that hair is not a right: it's a privelege!

Why is it that schools continue to insist that they can treat their students as sub people who do not have any rights. So a student from home posts something on her facebook page and the school thinks that's their business and they get to assign detention over it? Not only that, but they have the right to demand she tell them her password so they can look through her private messages? I would say i hope the teachers responsible for this get fired, but obviously that's impossible because of the teacher's union. The teachers will never face any repercussions which is probably why they feel so comfortable trampling all over their students. As a side note it's silly for the article to compare abusing students rights to making requirements of teachers and college athletes. Going to college/getting a job as a teacher are not rights, those are positions you have to earn and you will be representing your school. If they want to have certain requirements to offer a job or scholarship that's their prerogative, but elementary education is not a privilege, it's a right, in fact it's not only a right, but a requirement. You're required by law to go to school, and then the school requires you to give up your right to free speech. Therefore you are essentially legally required to give up your constitutional right. Which is obviously illegal.

You promised me dog or higher.

So as you may be aware the federal government has been involved in a series of expensive long term sting operations to capture dangerous villains selling unpasteurized milk to eager customers. Surely the take over metropolis can only be days away. Here are a couple of articles presenting opposite view points on the safety of non-pasteurized milk. Basically the first says it's safer, and the second says that's only true of the mass produced milk that comes from factory farms and is full of bacteria. Normal milk from a well run farm is both safe and healthier. While there are some good points made by the second article that really isn't the point. I guess it's another argument against the government, but even if i conceded that pasteurized milk is safer, I would still not concede that the government has the right to tell you what you get to eat or drink. If i chose to eat a box of nerds for dinner that's my prerogative, and if i choose to can my fruits and risk getting botulism that's my prerogative too. And if i want to drink myself stupid every night until i die of cirrhosis the government has no objection. But if i want to drink some unpasteurized milk, the same way people have been drinking it for 1000s of years, now the government is going to step in and say they can't allow that. I'm all for protecting customers from fraud/misrepresented products. But if someone comes to a farmer and says may I please purchase some unpasteurized milk and the farmer agrees, who in this country really has a problem with that? Can we have a vote on this? Instead of government of the people, by the people, and for the people we have gotten a government of the bureaucrats by the bureaucrats and for the bureaucrats who install whatever rules and laws they see fit regardless of whether they are benefiting people, or even make a basic level of sense. As far as i can tell the only purpose of having this law is to higher more people to enforce it. Thus the government continues to spawn and feed off of it's host (us).

First you must answer 1 question about Japan. Is the answer japan?... Yes.

This is kind of amazing, but my question is who's idea was it to invent this? Was it intentional? Did someone decide you know what the world needs an anti-talking ray? Or were they working on something else, or was someone just goofing around and to play a joke on his friend created something to shoot his words back at him? It seems like the joke idea makes the most sense. It would be a funny prank to start with, but after it turns out the person can't speak it becomes double funny. Also i would be a little concerned about the long term affects of messing with the brain like this, but it would be nice to have sometimes.

Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place. I know. This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap ladies.

I'm not sure what this woman is upset about. She has chosen to be a member of a religion that considers homosexuality to be sinful, and now she's upset that the priest of that religion was not accepting of her homosexuality. It is my understanding that you are not to take communion if you are not clean of spirit. If you have sinned and not confessed/repented your sins or if you are not a true believer than it is a sin to take communion. In the eyes of the priest it would be leading her further into sin to give her communion, and it would also suggest that the sinful life she is currently leading is okay. I'm not saying i agree with catholisms stance, but pick a different religion. I would agree that it was extremely rude and improper to leave the funeral. That is disrespectful of the diseased and for all we know she was a pious individual who is yucking it up in heaven right now. But as far as the communion goes, you don't get to join somebody's club and then be upset because you think their rules are stupid.

The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Isn't it funny that in such quick succession we find out that it's okay to be racist in this country as long as it's against asians, and now we find out it's okay to be a religious bigot as long as it's against mormons. Even SNL did a skit admitting that being racist against asians was fine while being racists against blacks was a crime against humanity. If you are one of the liberally protected groups (blacks, muslims, gays) then being against those people makes you evil. If you are part of some other group, then being a bigot against them is funny, because who cares about those people anyway. Asians make up a far smaller minority in this country than blacks or hispanics and so their votes aren't as important so nobody can be bothered to stand up for them. Nice to know. And it's also nice to know that while liberals claim to be so super duper tolerant they in fact are far more likely to vote against a politician based solely on his religion. To be fair this poll only addresses mormonism specifically, if their was a muslim running for president the numbers may be reversed. But the upcoming election is not going to feature any muslims and it may well feature a mormon. It's nice to know that more than a quarter of democrats will not even consider him because of his religious affiliation. (Note if someone is crazy about their religious views i consider that a seperate matter, like people who claim hurricane katrina was sent as punishment for gay marriage or something. There's a difference between being a member of a religion and being a fanatic and as far as i know nobody has accused romney of being a fanatic.

You gotta squeeze every penny.

Well this makes sense. Force people to pay more for the privilege of being american. It's not like they have any other options. It's not like americans have been giving up their citizenship are records rates. Just keep forcing them to pay more and more, and they'll just keep paying it. If there's anything rich people are known for, it's being very easily parted from their money. O no wait. First off 50% of americans already pay 0 income taxes. And i'm not sure what percentage exactly, but a large percentage of those who pay no income taxes actually receive refunds from the government despite having not paid taxes. That's in addition to foot stamps/welfare/etc. So Mr. geithner the rich are already paying more for the privilege of being american, in fact they are the only ones paying for the privilege. Everyone else in america is being paid just to be alive. What a great job they are doing being alive, clearly we should be giving them more money and taking more from the wealthy. Britain has just gotten the first results back from their attempts to increase the income tax rate to 50%. Income tax receipts in the country have fallen as more of the wealthy have moved themselves and/or their assets out of britain, and away from its taxes. So by all means US follow suit. Rich people are rich for a reason, because they are smart about their money. I can sympathize with the desire to tax them more, but if you do they will figure out a way to avoid the taxes. Either they are smart, or they pay someone who is smart (or probably both) to avoid paying for the privilege of being american, and many would be more than happy to move their wealth elsewhere.

You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops! They are? Oh, no! Have they set a date?

Of course the red light camera's a way to raise revenue. Anyway who claims otherwise is blatantly lying to the public. Governments all want more money. Ideally they just come in at night and wreck up the place taking whatever than can grab. But that can tend to be unpopular as can higher taxes. So what to governments do when there's no convenient way to raise money? Issue more tickets, have require more permits and fees, etc. No honest person would ever argue that ticketing cars that go over the white line improves safety, and no reasonable person would ever believe it. If this was really about safety there's an easy way they could prove it, donate all the revenue to charity. But of course they would never do that. (also even if they did donate the money to charity it wouldn't justify their action it would only prove that they are actually stupid enough to believe what they claim about safety.)

My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much! If only they'd elect me. I'd make 'em pay! Aw, Moe, how do I make 'em like me?

Not quite as funny as some of his other things, but still worth a laugh.