Sunday, June 5

Fun with words

I know that most people who read this blog have heard this, but in case some of you haven't:

You are flying over the desert in a canoe, and you get a flat tire. How many pancakes does it take to fix it?

And because most of you have heard that, here's a second one i doubt anyone has heard:

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?


Blogger Aras said...

You are flying over the desert in a canoe, and you get a flat tire. How many pancakes does it take to fix it?

None: ice cream has no bones!

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?


3:46 AM  
Blogger Trashcan said...

so i guess nobody has any interest in correcting aras. The answer to the second riddle, which aras did get himself when i talked to him online, was that is actually corn, not popcorn. So you throw away the outside when you husk it, then cook the inside, then eat the corn which is now on the outside, and throw away the cob. given the lack of interest in these riddles, i probably won't post anymore, unless i find something i really like

10:07 PM  
Blogger Aras said...

see if you can figure out this riddle, loky and gint and anyone else (i've heard vytenis has no shot):

I'm a pancake! I'm a big tough pancake smothered in gooseberry jam, and i'm gonna beat the shit outta you! How do you like that, huh, you fuckin eggman, you fuckin Egg McMuffin?

8:18 AM  
Blogger Trashcan said...

sounds to me like the pancake is jealous that the eggmcmuffin is doing all the fuckin. the eggman is going around fuckin all the breakfast burritos, and the pancake is left holding his gooseberry jam.

did i get it?

5:34 PM  
Blogger Aras said...

you got it! that's exactly right!

if you like that, try this one on for size:

There's a dick in your ear! A midget is standing on your shoulder with his penis in your ear! Why?

9:15 AM  
Blogger Trashcan said...

Okay let's see. a dick in your ear, that's kind of weird. okay so here we go, so you went to the beach to enjoy the warm weather, and while you were there you had a few beers. Although some interesting things happened at the nude beach, none if it has anything to do with your current predicament of having a dick in your ear. So you put your clothes back on, and start driving back, but on your way back your crotch get's really itchy from the sand, because you didn't shower before leaving. so you start itching yourself, and you stop paying attention to the road for a couple seconds and get into an accident with a midget. Unfortunately for you, this midget happened to be the head of the little known, but very powerful midget maffia. so while you are dazed but not seriously hurt in the accident, the midget gets his minions, who were riding in the car with you, to grab you, and they take you back to their head quarters. So obviously this midget mafia is pretty pissed at you. So as you are being dragged away, you make feeble attempts at protest, not realizing that this is the midget mafia, or what's going on. so as they are driving back, (in another car that was following close by, but not involved in the accident) they interrogate you about what you were doing, and why you drove into them. You tell them about your itchy sandy penis in the hopes that they will understand and let you go. However no dice. So when you finally get back to the mafia headquarters, the mafia leader, who was slightly banged up and bruised, but not seriously injured starts yelling at you. Various obscenties, about what you were doing, and somethings you can't understand, but surmise are part of a secret midget language. Then he threatens to cut off your dick, so you won't have to itch it and go around getting in accidents anymore. Of course you don't really like this idea at all, and you beg and plead with him not cut of your dick. You tell him you'll do anything, just please don't cut of your dick. So he says in the way that is always bad, "anything?" and then says alright. I won't cut off your dick, if you let won of my luitenants stick his dick in your ear. I have no interest in such things myself, but ever since he saw the SNL bit with will farrel, as the Lover, and cristopher walken, he wanted to try it. relucantly you agree, because you really don't want to lose your member. so in comes the midget, and orders you to get down so he can get up on your shoulders. then he takes of his pants and sticks his dick in your ear. and all you can think is: There's a dick in your ear! A midget is standing on your shoulder with his penis in your ear! How did it ever come to this. Anyway, the midget did not find the experience as intriguiing as he had hoped, and soon puts his dick back in his pants, and jumps off of your shoulders. The midgets let you go, but warn you not to mess with midgets again.

There, did i get it?

2:41 PM  
Blogger Aras said...

i'm gonna interprit your answer as another riddle in and of itself. the answer is five big ones.

the question was, how many joints must lokys have blazed to his head before writing that post?

5:31 AM  
Blogger Trashcan said...

i guess it shows that i haven't really had a creative outlet recently, working just on entering data into a spreadsheet. But i start working at the NU phonathon soon, actually talking to people, so hopefully that will let me do something at least a little more interesting. Although it is not an entirely uncommon occurence that people will ask me if i'm high, when i'm totally not at all. I guess i just like to laugh a lot, and be stupid. i guess a lot of people smoke weed to help them be stupid and laugh at everything, i just do it naturally, and if i need assiatnce use sleep deprivation, because it's cheap and effective.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Aras said...

unfortunately for you, sleep deprivation actually poses much more serious health risks than fat joints.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Trashcan said...

That may be, but it's much less hazardous than some of my other methods, like starvation, drinking sea water, eating various shrubbery, or bashing myself in the back of the head with a hammer. Those are all less pleasant than sleep deprivation, plus with sleep deprivation, there is the added bonus that get to be awake longer, which is the real point. The point is that if you are going to be sleep deprived anyway because you are either doing a lot of work, or a lot of partying, or both, which is what generally happens to me at neringa, then you don't really need anything else.

12:21 AM  

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