Tuesday, August 30

And if you think naming a destructive storm after a woman is sexist, you obviously have never seen the gals grabbing for items at a clearance sale.

That's true... but he shouldn't say it.

So my thoughts about the lack of power was realizing just how much of the world runs on power. Wait you mean the air conditioning doesn't work either? It seemed like the whole world was falling apart. No lights, no fridge, no stove and no toilet. Obviously death is was on its way, the only question is how long will we manage to stave it off before the inevitable. Luckily there were ritz crackers and cheeze-its to eat. Plus a giant bag of popcorn leftover from a weekend get together so at least death was not imminent.

But then slowly through trial and error, i came to realize that not everything was shut down by the power outage. Books for example seemed completely unaffected. (At least those made of paper and ink.) I wasn't sure if they had some sort of complete natural immunity to the effects of the power outage, or if they were just resistant and would soon succumb. In either case i decided to take advantage of my find and start reading. I have now successfully finished reading the hobbit in lithuanian. Not the easiest thing ever but you'd be amazed how much of an incentive having nothing else to do is. Likewise while the lightbulbs have been rendered completely nonfunctional, their dullard cousins, the candles and the oil lamp, seem to be if anything brighter than ever. They don't quite make it bright as day like lightbulbs manage to, but cast enough light to play cards after the setting of the great light in the sky.

Yesterday i came to realize that while my own little neck of woods had reverted to the middle ages there were still some places where people managed to live like kings, using electricity without concern. specifically middletown. So i made the sojourn out to find out exactly what the situation was. Not only do they have an entire depository full of books, and lights by which to read them (what a goldmine,) they had actual computers with access to other computers all around the world. So i managed to set my fantasy sports teams and check on the best sandwich recipes to use when your only ingredients are bread and unrefrigerated cold cuts. It turns out the best thing to do is put the cold cuts (no longer cold) on the bread and then eat it. Success. Who said cooking is hard.

Nature also seems largely unaffected. Except for the loss of a couple of orchard trees, admittedly extremely unfortunate, nature just keeps going along. The stars seemed particularly bright last night, possibly the brightest i've ever seen them, as if to say sorry about my half sister irene, she can be a bit of a jerk sometimes when she's drinking. The grass continues to grow, rejoicing in its ability to live without electricity, but its victory is short lived. For while the grass might have thought it had come to a golden age with the demise of electricity, it turns out that the grass's nemesis, the lawn mower, is also functioning as normal and ready to begin a bloody wholesale massacre of the jubilant little grasses.

In conclusion thanks a lot irene for being a big jerk. Knocking out the power is one thing, i get that joke it's kind of funny. Look at all you little goofs so addicted to your electricity, won't it be funny if you had to live just a couple of days without electrical power, the way human beings have had to live for more than 99% of our existence on this planet. And then we all scramble around all frantic and beside ourselves. That's a good one, and i'll give credit where credit is due. But why did you have to knock down our pear tree and our peach tree? That's not funny. We only had 2 pears and peaches left, and now we're down to 1 each. Even if we manage to get new trees to grow (dubious) it will take 10 years for them to get big enough to start producing fruit. That's really a jerky move irene.


Blogger Aras said...

Good story. Small bits of those trees should make for a good addition to grilling, at least.

1:46 AM  
Blogger Trashcan said...

maybe. We've never tried to harvest fruit trees for grilling purposes. Also i think that's usually apple or cherry, at least if you were to buy it at the store it would be. We will try to stand the trees up for now and hope they survive.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Aras said...

Good luck.

1:55 AM  

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